Your mother's clam.
Reblogged from fuckyeahlizlemon
TINA: I had one day off a couple of weeks ago, and I had to go get a bunch of painful dental work done. That was mommy’s day off.
(Source: 30rockasaurus)
Reblogged from blinkingatliberty
I’ve got twenty
Twenty fucking thingamabobs
Here
For you
Take them
Take my thingamabobs
Reblogged from what-is-this-i-dont-even
eat spicy food while pregnant. your baby will become a fire mage. yes i am a doctor
Hey guys, let’s never make a joke that offends anyone ever again.
Race/ethnicity jokes are obviously out of the question. So are jokes about rape/murder.
Fat or skinny jokes? Clearly gone. Tall/short jokes will offend some people too.
Gay jokes? Dead baby jokes? Man the triggers are piling up.
Gender jokes, no siree, you cis scum.
Jokes based on someone’s hair color? How DARE you assume things based on hair color.
Dirty jokes? Not EVERYONE is ok with talking about sex you know…
Jokes with swears? There are kids on here for pete’s sake!
Impressions? No way, everyone gets offended when they’re being mocked.
That leaves us with puns.
So, we have two options, tumblr. Either puns are now officially the only acceptable joke allowed on the internet, or….
Or everyone can collectively pull their social-justice filled head out of their ass.
Words only have as much power as you give them.
Genna: “What type of country do we live in where a woman can’t touch a man’s breasts anytime she wants.”
Reblogged from vorpal-claws
This is the most accurate depiction of Genna and I ever, except she’s Homer and I’m Marge.
